Is it human nature to be addicted to drama? Or is it simply a matter of preference? Or is it due to circumstances beyond one's control? These questions have been burning a hole in my brain today. I used to call myself a child of chaos, because essentially that is what I was. Today, I no longer feel that way. Do I still enjoy drama? Only if it's on tv. I do not enjoy other people's stuff anymore, I will say that yes I used to love when people would call me up and tell me all their stuff and I would try to play mrs. fix-it. Some may say that this blog is still me trying to do that, I can gladly say that I am not trying to fix anything for anyone. I am here to tell my story and that's it. If it helps someone then that's phenomenal! I write about this part of my life to help myself. It helps me gain perspective on where I was and where I am. It helps bring control to my life. Yes, I am a control freak, but only of myself (and maybe my kids). I don't feel the need to control others and I certainly will not allow others to control me.
There are certain things that happen in my life when I put a thought out into the universe. I always get an answer and it's ultimately up to me on what I do with it. When it comes to chaos and drama, well I seem to be a magnet. I have learned now how to separate myself from those that are toxic. I have learned how to put protective walls up that help me to see through the BS of someone else. I also know how to keep those that I used to be close to, that are still drama filled, at an arms length, for my sanity's sake.
I am not perfect, I am a student of life and I thank God that I am learning. I am stubborn and I am steadfast when it comes to my belief that I need to put myself and my family first. I am loyal to the people that I feel are good for me and the ones that are a detriment or make me feel less than, I keep out.
So, children of the chaos theory, I ask you...is it worth it? Do you really want to stay addicted to drama? And to those that aren't, how do you do it? Just some food for thought.....