Sunday, March 15, 2009

Child of Chaos...No More

Is it human nature to be addicted to drama? Or is it simply a matter of preference? Or is it due to circumstances beyond one's control? These questions have been burning a hole in my brain today. I used to call myself a child of chaos, because essentially that is what I was. Today, I no longer feel that way. Do I still enjoy drama? Only if it's on tv. I do not enjoy other people's stuff anymore, I will say that yes I used to love when people would call me up and tell me all their stuff and I would try to play mrs. fix-it. Some may say that this blog is still me trying to do that, I can gladly say that I am not trying to fix anything for anyone. I am here to tell my story and that's it. If it helps someone then that's phenomenal! I write about this part of my life to help myself. It helps me gain perspective on where I was and where I am. It helps bring control to my life. Yes, I am a control freak, but only of myself (and maybe my kids). I don't feel the need to control others and I certainly will not allow others to control me.

There are certain things that happen in my life when I put a thought out into the universe. I always get an answer and it's ultimately up to me on what I do with it. When it comes to chaos and drama, well I seem to be a magnet. I have learned now how to separate myself from those that are toxic. I have learned how to put protective walls up that help me to see through the BS of someone else. I also know how to keep those that I used to be close to, that are still drama filled, at an arms length, for my sanity's sake.

I am not perfect, I am a student of life and I thank God that I am learning. I am stubborn and I am steadfast when it comes to my belief that I need to put myself and my family first. I am loyal to the people that I feel are good for me and the ones that are a detriment or make me feel less than, I keep out.

So, children of the chaos theory, I ask it worth it? Do you really want to stay addicted to drama? And to those that aren't, how do you do it? Just some food for thought.....


  1. Thanks for opening my eyes...I want to be drama free and drama free I shall work towards doing...I think you will do okay..thanks again..

  2. I think I was the same way. I just can't stand hearing the drama anymore though. And when I do hear it - I just listen. I don't bother giving my 2 cents anymore, because it just draws me into the drama. Thanks for sharing! :)


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