I vented yesterday, it helped and surprisingly my hubs must have read it cause it got us to communicate. He is not an easy one to talk too, but then again sometimes neither am I. I am stubborn and it's my family's fault. Almost all the women in my family are stubborn, it's because of my grandma, she was the most stubborn of us all and taught us very well :).
I am a work in progress, as you know, and because of my history I am learning how to be more of a 50-50 type person. Or think of it as treat others how you want to be treated, if you communicate with me I'll communicate with you, if you shut me out I shut you out, simple, right?! I'll let you know.
**More of my story**
My past is speckled with all kinds of colors, there was a time when it was black, with only one or two pinholes of white, during the blackest time I thought for sure there would never be color again. You see when I was 22 I met a boy, he was handsome, sophisticated, smart and super funny, oh yea, he was also an alcoholic, drug addict and gambling addict and EXTREMELY abusive. For almost 3 years I became this person who also became addicted to all the same things he was, I allowed him to take from me everything that made me ME, I became a shell of a person. I lost my daughter, my car, my home, my friends, a few jobs, and the respect of my family. I finally woke up one day and said enough, I had a guardian angel looking out for me, a girl I worked with offered me a place to stay and she essentially saved me. I was able to get my self together and then I met Mark. He brought back the color to my life, I had started and he added more.
I think my life runs in cycles, sometimes there are more colors and other times there are just a few. Right now, I am adding and subtracting, the colors are indicative of people, emotions, goals and accomplishments. This blog and the co-author Young Momma are two of the most vibrant in my current rainbow, I am most grateful for this time in my life. As crazy as I am sometimes, it's moments like this one that help me to see the calm that lies ahead. '
I think life is all about a 50-50 (with the occasional 60-40, when someone has to handle more of the load than the other) and right now I am at my full 50 :) and willing/capable to give extra if and when the need arises.