I've been having a mild freak out lately. Nothing too serious. But, I called my sister in law, because she is kind of an expert in the area of which I'm freaking about.
When I tell her that I'm freaking out and want her opinion, she laughs and says
"That's just what you do. Just stop."
UGH!!!
Can I tell you - if it was only that easy! I can't just flip this on and off like a light switch. I have no control over this. When I get a little mommy worry in my head, it turns into a full fledged panic over something being wrong with a situation, or with my baby, or with whatever it is that I'm panicked over!
I'm still in the process of learning what this disorder is all about. My hubs is still learning how to handle all of it, as well. I love him so much. He's really trying, and he's incredibly patient. When I told him how it hurt me when his sister said this, he asked me "What would the right answer have been??"
There isn't a right answer. All I wanted was an answer though. Not a criticism on why or how I act the way I do. Just let me know what I'm asking about. Don't call me out on how I'm wrong for even worrying about it in the first place.
Am I never going to have his family understand??
This is not something I have control over. This is not something that will just stop or go away. This is me. Love it or hate it. I am a panicked woman. I don't have control over my emotions, and half the time I'm lucky if I have control over my thoughts.
This makes me feel like I'm always going to feel alone. On the outside and misunderstood.
It's a shitty place to be.
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I wish you would have gotten the reaction you wanted from your SIL.
ReplyDeleteI have not been diagnosed with a disorder, but I bet a psychiatrist would have a hay day if given the opportunity to pick my brain. :)
My friend you are not alone, just know that there are others..ahem..(whispering) myself..that sufer right along with you. HUbs hates when he or Nate get sick because then I become this crazed lunatic thinking everyone is going to die. I promise you this, there will be days that are bad and days that are good and when you are feeling out of your mind or feel almost out of your mind, try to take solace in the knowledge that so am I! :) **HUGS**
ReplyDeleteFirst time visitor who can totally relate! I am an over-analyzer/obsessor and when I try to discuss with hubby, sometimes he says "Stop Obsessing". Hmmmm... now why didn't I think of that? Duh, if it was that easy, I would. Do you think it's fun or enjoyable freaking out? If you need to, I'll be your pretend internet friend and you can vent to me. I promise not to say anything annoying, LOL! I actually just stopped by to introduce myself as a new SITSa and invite you over to “Two Under Two. Whew!” for my super-fun-and-little-bit-silly giveaways, one of which is tied to our fellow SITSa, BlogBaby! You could win a collection from Tiny Two’s Baby Animals line, or some chocolate covered pretzels! See you around the blogosphere friend!
ReplyDeleteYes, it is unfortunate that the general public is so ignorant when it comes to so many illnesses.
ReplyDeleteYou can distance yourself, or try to educate. But living with their ignorant comments will not help matters.
I have been there many times. I wish I could give you some great advice to tell you how get through it, but I can't even get through it at times.
ReplyDeleteI'm just stopping by from sits. i'm sorry you are going through a tough time medically. i have suffered with anxiety in the past... worrying sometimes makes me feel like I'm about to have a heart attack. i don't have any answers but I hope things improve soon.
ReplyDeleteI'm a little in the dark here. I'll keep reading to see what this is about. But I know what you mean when people try to act like an illness is in your head. I think it may be their way of trying to hope that it doesn't have to be that way. A denial of sorts.
ReplyDeleteHey there!! It doesn't MATTER what the reason is...if you are clearly upset...that shouldn't be underminded by a looser reponse..! Obviously if you are worried, then it isn't nothing....!!
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